Dec 30, 2008

Letting Go

I am doing much better and THANK YOU to everyone for their comments and prayers. I truly appreciated them. My family and I had a beautiful and wonderful Christmas. It was quiet and peaceful and we were just so glad to be together as a family.

The past month has been challenging being sick with the holidays upon us. About mid-December, I was trying to make sense of why I had this illness that literally stopped me in my tracks. I began praying and I had an experience where a profound peace settled over me and with crystal clear clarity I was shown how I had been trying to MAKE things change and happen based on my own agenda. I saw how scared I was to take that unknown leap of faith that God wanted me to commit to. It was a humbling and life changing experience. I committed to letting go and letting God take control; trusting that He would care for my family and I, and that all would be well even if we didn't understand His plan for us.

Less than a week later, the opportunity came for me to take that leap of faith and with His help, I did. I am not currently able to write about the leap of faith but let me assure you, I am getting better...my illness was a way for making me stop and take notice of other areas that didn't support me anymore (actually one HUGE area). Aaron and the kids have been wonderful through all of this. God blessed me with a wise and supportive, loving husband and great kids; I am oh, so grateful!
I am still emotional and still have serious moments of fear but God is cradling myself and my family in His palm. Aaron gave me the cd Over and Underneath by Tenth Avenue North. This is the song that spoke so deeply to me and gave me comfort ~